The "P" word.

Finding our worth is a huge part of being a military wife. We can never compete with what our husbands do. They have devoted their lives to the protection of our country and it's people, we have devoted our lives to them. What that means varies for each of us. Our lives often times become about our husbands. Not because they ask that of us but because its what happens, necessity if you will.
The problem with this is that sometimes we forget who we are without them. We get so wrapped up in the military world, in their schedules, in their needs, that we forget. And when we get to new places that are "remote" and we don't have jobs or things to keep the connection to ourselves,a very strange thing happens....I think I'll call it the Stepford effect. Life becomes about the "P" word.....Perfection.
We begin to feel that we have to be perfect. The house has to look perfect. Dinner has to be perfect. Clothes must be washed, folded and put away perfect. We do this to ourselves. No one asked us to be perfect but how can we not be? How can we not be when we aren't doing much else??? How can we justify a lazy day? How can we justify him coming home to a messy house.....to no dinner?
Here's the thing, this thought process is evil. It does more to tear down our confidence and self-worth that any amount of "good job" or "looks nice" can EVER build. It's self-sabotage.
Just being there for our husbands is enough. Loving them, talking to them, letting them vent, being there when they come home....those are the things they NEED, that is what we signed up for when we said "I do".
They don't care if we are perfect. They love us in our sweats, no make-up, putting a frozen pizza in the oven. We just have to remember to love ourselves that way too.