Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Maybe I'm just weird.

Yes, my husband leaves. He leaves quite a bit actually. Granted its not for years at a time like some wives bravely endure but more like months, weeks, days. But yes, he leaves me.
Here is where the weird comes in. I like it. Sometimes I even LOVE it. Do I miss him? Of course, so much. Do I cry when he goes? Sometimes. But as I am packing his bags and hugging him goodbye there is a tiny little part of me that is excited. Excited to have complete control of the Television.
Let me explain. We have been together for 7+ years. Not that it is really that long in the grand scheme of things but 7 years is enough time to get through the honeymoon lovey dovey and into the meat of a relationship, into the "comfort zone", where it's no longer "oh sure honey" "whatever you want honey" and becomes "Don't touch the damn remote" or "I will shove it where the sun don't shine". (In my opinion the better place to be)
When he leaves, it is just me and the dogs and they only care that they get snacks and walks.
I get to watch whatever I want. I can watch the Food Network or the CW teenie bopper shows for HOURS on end without anyone complaning...and DAMN IT I freakin' love it. I also love being able to eat whatever I want. If I want fish sticks and a can of beets that is what I eat. If I want just mashed potatoes that is what I make. Its fantastic. The freedom. The "me" time.
So maybe I am weird, I know some wives cringe at the idea of being alone but I am not one of them. It doesn't mean that I love my husband any less or that we aren't solid.
I choose to see the fun and adventure in the alone time instead of just the fear. But there is fear. I still check every room, under every bed, behind every shower curtain before going to bed and you better believe I sleep with mace, knives and a very protective dog at the foot of my bed....I said I was weird people, not stupid.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Someone grab the duct tape.

It's amazing how the worst part of this life is also the best.
Everytime we move I am somehow ridiculously blessed with finding amazing people. Even in the smallest of towns I find people that today I still love so much and think about everyday. My heart breaks everytime I have to say goodbye. I am pretty sure any MRI would show the haphazardly patched scars on my heart (hence the duct tape reference).

I don't know how I get so lucky, and sometimes I wonder why I can't just stay still and love these people right up close instead of in memories and through e-mail, text message or facebook.
I am in awe of so many of you out there. The people who cared enough to become my friend and still care enough to say "Hi" or check in. I am by nature a people loving - loner, (oxymoron I know) but it suits me pretty well in this traveling life I lead and in a way allows me to come to a place, love the hell out of some people and them move on to the next with an open heart.

So just a big THANK YOU is what I am getting at, to all of those people who took the time and still do to let me know I am still thought of even with the miles and the time between us.

The first

Well here we go. My life is a traveling one but it is so much more. I am a military wife...which in reality is much less glamorous but much more rewarding than people can imagine.
I am starting this blog after much deliberation (and procrastination) because after our most recent move I find myself with excruciating amounts of time on my hand and an outlet has become necessary for my sanity as much as my husbands :) See, I am one of the very few military wives who is teetering on 30 and childless ( I count my puppies as children but society seems to disagree) a rare breed are we who have yet to procreate this late in life, and more importantly this late in military-wife-life. So here we go, blogging it is. I hope other wives who find themselves in a similar situation as myself or for those of you looking for a peek inside our world will read this blog with an open mind and heart. A small warning to those of you with sensitive souls...I am a Gemini so you truly never know who you might get.