It's worse than dial-up...

My connection to my husband lately that is. He has been gone a lot lately and I really feel so disconnected from him.
This is worse than when he would leave for months at a time. I could prepare myself for that, I knew it was coming. I had an end date to focus on and would plan my months/weekends/days accordingly so I always had something to keep me busy.
Now, its all over the place and his schedule has no rhyme or reason. He comes and goes without warning and we never have a solid date that he will come home. I find myself pissy more and more about it. Now mind you, I am never really angry over his changing schedule, it is what it is. But lately I am feeling so far away from him that I can't help but get mad at his schedule for making us this way.
He isn't just deploying either, it's schools...family visiting...other stuff. It's just feeling like a lot for me right now and I can't plan and prepare my way to my normal level of tolerance.
I know he must be frustrated too but unfortunately I married someone who is not so much of a communicator as he is a grunter. He says he is fine, we are fine, everything is fine, but my spidey sense is tingling and it makes me feel less than confident.
Uggghh I tell ya what, I understand now why this billet is only two years...come on 2012!!

My dirty little secret...finally caught up with me.

Alright, it's time for me to come clean. I am a complete, total, irreparable klutz. I am serious, if there is a 5 foot wide sidewalk, I will walk into the tree on the very edge. In my old lunch room at my office in Boston there were pillars in the middle, I had bruises on my arms for 2 years from walking into them everyday. I am NEVER without a cut or a bruise.
I am so focused when I put my mind to something but everyday life it's like I just kinda bump my way through.
Finally however, I went beyond bruises and cuts to breaking a bone. Albeit a tiny bone (my toe) but still.
I was hiding in the closet the other night waiting to scare my  husband when he came in (fav pastime of mine) when he walked in I yelled and he totally freaked out then started to chase me so I ran.....right into the door jam of the bathroom. I kicked it pretty much. I didn't even get to enjoy my "scare" because the pain was so bad.
Two days later my poor little toe is blue and won't bend at all.....I guess that is what I get huh?

Oh well, a broken toe was well worth watching my husband jump 3 feet in the air, cover his face and scream. I am sure he is pumped about this blog :)