Thursday, March 31, 2011

It's worse than dial-up...

My connection to my husband lately that is. He has been gone a lot lately and I really feel so disconnected from him.
This is worse than when he would leave for months at a time. I could prepare myself for that, I knew it was coming. I had an end date to focus on and would plan my months/weekends/days accordingly so I always had something to keep me busy.
Now, its all over the place and his schedule has no rhyme or reason. He comes and goes without warning and we never have a solid date that he will come home. I find myself pissy more and more about it. Now mind you, I am never really angry over his changing schedule, it is what it is. But lately I am feeling so far away from him that I can't help but get mad at his schedule for making us this way.
He isn't just deploying either, it's schools...family visiting...other stuff. It's just feeling like a lot for me right now and I can't plan and prepare my way to my normal level of tolerance.
I know he must be frustrated too but unfortunately I married someone who is not so much of a communicator as he is a grunter. He says he is fine, we are fine, everything is fine, but my spidey sense is tingling and it makes me feel less than confident.
Uggghh I tell ya what, I understand now why this billet is only two years...come on 2012!!

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